Fall's the Perfect Time for War

Question, which you can answer in the comments (even though no one ever does!!!).

Do you think Bush will invade Iran by the fall?

Intense Beauty

Woke up at 5:30
Wrote for four hours
Napped
Got up at 11
The weather calling
Begging me
To run
The muscles are slowly replacing the fat
And my legs are starting to to feel like they used to
Gazelle legs
Where you're moving without trying
Zoom zoom
Zoom zoom
Zoom zoom
Zoom zoom
That's the goal
And it's within reach

The Sugar Bowl in Southie
I don't know that there's anything better
The city on one side
The harbor islands on the other
Islands on which I spent a year of my life
Learning Latin
Climbing ropes courses
Camping on snow
Feeling inadequate next to the other boys
Calling my mother and letting "fuck" slip out in a fit of frustration
All memories that serve me to this day
I hated it at the time
And now
All I can see is beauty

Age--life--is a gift
The chance to expand your knowledge of the world
Of people
Of places
Of concepts
Of facts
Of mysteries
Of the real
Of yourself
A game like any other
So have fun with it
Or get the hell out

In some ways
Certainty is a curse
And today
I feel less sure than I did yesterday
But I'm secure in that
And it's a beautiful thing
Intensely
Beautiful
Giving hope for better things tomorrow
Or maybe worse
But I know no matter what happens
I can handle it

Because this is a game
And I'm Michael Jordan

Arm the Trenches

It's gonna a be a battle. I called this shit a couple of months ago.

Purging

Universe is a bitch
But a fabulous bitch
Like the kind of chick you see in a nightclub
All boobs and hair and wicked high heels she's waiting to drill into your forehead
... But not in a tacky way
... In a kinda awe-inspiring way
No matter how rough its means
Or how much we ignore its messages
The universe is always gonna make sure we accept the things we need
And reject the things we don't

And it's a feeling
From the start
Something's right, unquestionably
Or it's right, but not right enough
Or it's wrong
Or it's wrong, but with a little effort it'll be more right than anything else
And that's my favorite kind of situation
The so-wrong-it's-right situation
But it's also the most damaging
Because hanging out on the fringe can either
Send you over a cliff
Or remove you from yourself
If it doesn't fulfill you

Some people challenge you
Force you to test the limits of your real
Others make you feel comfortable in the role you've assumed
Even if it's fake
And others still make you feel bad about yourself
But really
These effects exist only in your mind
It's about how you receive other people
More than how they respond to you

Hillary Clinton should have listened to herself
And me
Long ago
About that bastard Mark Penn
The damage that Lefty Karl Rove has done
To her campaign
And possibly to our country
May be irreversible
But the universe intervened
And ding dong the witch is dead
So hopefully we can start behaving like adults again

In Washington
Petraeus squawks about troop levels
Down to 140K by the summer
... Still more than what was there before the surge
... But why focus on details?
And then
No end in sight
Setting up the 100-years War
That McCain promises to those who feed on masculine aggression
And view diplomacy as a sign of weakness
Why is no one holding this man accountable for the promises he made last September?
Are we so used to being manipulated
And lied to
By the people we've elected
To represent
Us?
Or is it that we don't care
Because we're numb to the effects of this war
Which will not end
Until the Dick and Bush Brigade figure out how to
Tap the oil under that holy land
And divert it directly into their veins
Because that's what machines run on
Oil
Not blood

Time to purge, my friends
Clean up the mess
And take a look at what's still beautiful
Maybe we'll be surprised
Or disappointed
But at least it will be real

Gone Bobby Gone

My cousin/roommate/homeboy Bobby is in Hawaii, visiting his badass sister Beth. He's been posting pics from the trip, and I thought I'd share one with y'all.

Three words:
Par
A
Dise

La Pequeña Hillary Clinton

This might be completely tasteless. But that's never stopped me before.

Got Something To Say?

Then say it on this here blog!

I want to make guest bloggers (thanks to my cousin Matty for the idea) a regular feature on the blog. You got something you want the world to see, let us have it. You can email me (tommyomalley@gmail.com) or publish something in the comments. Anything you want. No limits.

Forgiveness

I never know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it.

--William Faulkner

Family has dominated my writing for the past couple of weeks. Why? No clue. But writing about it is helping to square away a lot of things.

Parents are
Life-givers
Nurturers
Protectors
Abusers
Objects of resentment
Representations of stability
Representations of insanity
Educators
Enablers
Generous
Self-centered
and
Loving

Get over the bad stuff
By remembering the good stuff
Because the bad stuff
Is only as bad as your memory allows it to be
Don't sugarcoat
But don't dwell

A friend
Michelle
A great friend
Once shared a quote with me
Even if we carry our parents on our backs for the rest of our lives, it's not enough.
What does that mean to you?

I'll carry my parents through the Mojave
Without water
Or food
Happily
Because the possibilities ahead
And the accomplishments so far
I owe to them

Societies implode
When children reject their parents
Or vice versa
Which is why it's imperative
For you, the rejected
To forgive
And to love
Love
Love
Love like nothing's been lost
And you will be rewarded
Gifts that transcend the material
Better than gold

When you're able to forgive
And accept your due
The sweetness
Like the most delicious Reeses you've ever eaten
And the beauty
Of silent moments
And eyes piercing yours
And a chin on your neck
And a face next to yours
And an arm across your chest
That let you know
How far you've come
And how much better you can be
It's real
And it's wonderful

Mama Tried

Dear old daddy, rest his soul
Left my mom a heavy load
She tried so very hard to fill his shoes
Working hours without rest
Wanted me to have the best
She tried to raise me right
But I refused

--Merle Haggard

The last time I saw my mother, I had a beard
I hate shaving
She hated my beard
Awful, she said, really awful
And that made me feel like I was doing something right

When people have a strong reaction against something I do
I want to do more of it

Babsie and Frank
Both 78 years old
30 years might as well be 5 to them
For my birthday
In December
They gave me an electric razor
The kind that cleans itself
I've used it three times

My beard
Protection
Protest
And very, very red

I'm not a red head
Blonde head
Red face
Blonde arms
Brown and blonde and red everywhere else
No consistency
And I like that

Elsewhere
I need consistency
Hot
Cold
Hot
Cold
One or the other
Or at least a little warning
Because putting on a bathing suit
Underneath a parka and snow pants
Is a bitch

But Spring is finally here
And the sun
Shines
Shines
Shines
Fills the voids with light
And makes my hair a few shades paler

For My Dad

My father
A man
An incredible man
52 years old when he died
Kinda old, I thought back then
But now
So young
Younger everyday

As I get older I
Look more like him
And sound more like him
And think more like him
And dress more like him
And feel more like him

In life, my dad was unknowable
In death, he's a mirror for me
Good
Bad
Beautiful
Painful
Tragic
Triumphant
Prosperous
Unrealized
Hopeful
Desperate
Exhausted
Excited
A mirror, flaws and all

His absence makes me think about the times he was around

The 1980s
My childhood, early childhood
My dad was a success
Private office
Private bathroom
Secretaries (as in, plural)
Subordinates
The man who signed the checks, my dad
Or maybe he didn't sign the checks
But to this six year-old's mind, he seemed like a god
I remember him having to call a guy up once, to tell him he didn't get the job
That hurt my dad

1990s
The sickness
Diabetes
Neuropathy
Spilled a cup of hot Dunkies coffee on his crotch and didn't even feel it
My mom told that story a lot
In front of him, to other people

The sickness invaded
First his body
Then his mind
Then his livelihood
The job, gone
Security, gone
All replaced by ambulance bills and worry

Disability, which ushered in the era of odd jobs
First, Buddy's gas station
Then, Bill's tow company
My dad
Manager
Gas station attendant
Tow truck dispatcher
None of which defined the man
All of which defined the drive
To make a better life for his family
At any cost
Even his pride
But my dad never was ashamed
Or at least he never showed it
He was a strong man
When his body worked
And long after it shut down

The most important things he taught me
In life
And still in death
Are
One: Be sure of yourself, always and without hesitation
And two: Never be too proud to do what you gotta do to get by
All within reason, of course
But maybe that's something he's taught me since his death
To be reasonable, that is
And that ability to reason has given me a very important piece of insight
My dad, sick and healthy, was always a success
Because he put himself behind the people he brought into this world

I love you, Dad
Can't wait to drink a Pabst and catch up