Triple Doubles

Just woke up. Man, so effing tired. But also, very much so richer than I was the last time I wrote.

Here's how I know I'm a good waiter. When shit's going crazy, and I'm in the worst mood ever (e.g. yesterday), I can keep it totally cool in front of my tables. But it's soooo bad for my soul, because the second I step away from a customer, my body retreats to survival mode. I'm all, breathe deep, don't freak. Breathe deep, don't freak. And when people I work with try to talk to me, I'm all "yup" or "nope" or "fine" or "don't know." No energy for anything but the tables. It's disheartening, literally.

Saturday, double. Brunch, then dinner. At dinner, some drunk guy to me: "What's this green shit on my plate?"

Me: "Spinach."

Drunk guy: "I didn't order any fucking spinach. I ordered fries. Get it off my fucking plate."

Me: (dropping the plate in front of him and walking out of the room)

Drunk guy's niece, 2 minutes later, walking out of the restaurant: "I am so sorry."

Me, steaming but keeping it real: "What should I do with his plate?"

Drunk guy's niece: "Spit on it."

Anyway, that's enough of the negativity. Yesterday, I waited on a couple of huge parties. Actually, I waited on huge parties all weekend long. It's graduation time, and Boston is home to about a bazillion colleges. Tips have been pretty effing sweet, for the most part. Last night alone, I pulled in $575. However, we pool tips at my restaurant, and I ended up walking with less than half of that. I never mind that, though, because everyone I work with is a baller, and we all help one another out. It's the way life should work, really.

So, finally onto my favorite part of the weekend. Sonia was bar tending on Saturday night, and this young kid--probably 11 or 12--was sitting there with his parents. At one point, Sonia was like, "Oh my god, look at this adorable little gay boy." True that, kid was very very comfortably gay. But that's not the special part. What rocked my life was when, a few minutes later, I walked behind the bar and Sonia was like, "Oh my god, you are never gonna believe what this little boy just said. He was like, 'So do you think Stew is gonna win best actor?'" Stew, obv, is the star of Passing Strange. So I walked over to his parents and asked them if they'd seen the show, and the dad was all, "Best thing I've ever seen. I'm telling everyone I know to go." And then I shot the shit about the Tonys with the kid for a little bit. It was amazing, because for the first time since I sorta became an adult, I got a very clear picture of what I was like as a kid.

Ok, enough bullshitting. I gotta go shower and head to the office.