Vulnerability

To write is
To know where you stand
An internal GPS
Gives you bearings
A sense of where you are
Have been
Are going

I've been
Am
Will be
Coddled
Adored
Worshiped
Loved
Reviled
Depressed
Content
Restless
Interested
Apathetic
Underestimated
Overestimated
Secure
Anxious
Confident
Driven
Successful
Falling apart
Falling in love

The path to greatness
Bumpy at best
Littered with land mines
Or worse
It ends
Too soon
Or where you think it will
But it doesn't feel like you thought it would
And that's all OK
Because it's just life

This path
I know it
Am on it
I see the end
Know the steps to avoid
But that doesn't make it easier to navigate
Just more comfortable
Whiplash is my friend
Because it means I'm still riding
And I still have a head on my shoulders
Taking me in the right direction
To the real
To recovery

A friend of mine
A good friend
Whose honesty strips me bare
Beyond naked
I'm a skeleton with him
Clarified the idea of balance for me

Three-fold balance

• Work
• Play
• Love

For me
Giving each appropriate attention
Does not come naturally
But I get it
And I'm working on it

Sometimes
My arrogance surprises even me
The one the thing I never want to be is
One hundred percent sure of what I know
Inside
I feel the pendulum swinging
Constant back and forth
But outside
I'm steady as a twelve ton boulder

For other people
This disconnect creates a lot of confusion
Or anger
Or resentment
Or intrigue
Or attraction
When I let them in

It's important to let other people in
To absorb their critiques
To broaden our sense of morality
To complete the puzzle
Be whole

It's a tough adjustment
But if we can make it past shaky introductions
If I can make it past shaky introductions
Then the rest will fall into place